Not my practice blog, by Scott Knaster

Torture of the Giants

The Giants are having a bizarre, tortured season, and it ain't easy on us long-suffering fans. The team management played chicken with the rest of the National League West this year, betting that going cheapo on the payroll would give them just enough to win their weak division. The result is a team with infuriating major flaws that's on course to fall just short of making the playoffs. They trail the hated Dodgers by 3 games with 4 to play, but 3 of those games are head-to-head, and the team is only one game out of the wild card lead (a way to make the playoffs without winning the division), so Anything Can Still Happen.

Last night was arguably the most incredible, painful loss of the season. After blowing a 3-1 lead in the 6th inning, the game was tied 3-3 in the last of the 10th. Two (two!) throwing errors set up a bases loaded, one out situation for San Diego. The game ended when Mark Loretta hit a foul fly to right field. Dustan Mohr caught the ball, then tripped over the bullpen mound and severly injured his knee. Pinch-runner Kerry Robinson came home with the winning run as Mohr lay flat on the ground, holding his knee, trainers and doctors racing to help him. It was a nightmare scene.

Hank Greenwald is fond of saying "You go out to the ballpark every day, you see something you haven't seen before". This infinite diversity is one of my favorite aspects of baseball. But this was a horrible way for a baseball game to end.

More pleasant stuff about baseball combinations and permutations: here's a page describing all the playoff possibilities, including what happens in the event of unprecedented three-way and four-way ties. Fun!

Monster Park

San Francisco has sold the naming rights to Candlestick Park. Effective immediately, it's now Monster Park, as in the company that makes fancy A/V and computer cables. As corporate names go, this one is not bad, aesthetically. But the name of the place is CANDLESTICK PARK. That's it.

Tittyboo Tower

And now, courtesy of Engrish.com, here it is: your moment of zen.

Back to the garage

As every geek knows, Hewlett-Packard began the classic Silicon Valley creation story of two guys in a garage. Now the company is restoring the garage and its house to their original vintage 1938 glory. But, according to the story, it will be like your mother's living room with plastic on all the furniture: nobody will actually be allowed to go there:

A new gate will replace the current fence, for the carloads of curious to peek at the historic garage from a gravel driveway. But that's as close as most people are going to get to the landmark, which the company bought four years ago for $1.7 million. The Garage will not be open to the public, or even HP employees, after the extensive renovations, said Sid Espinosa, HP's manager of public relations.

This is apparently in deference to the current neighbors, who don't want their street turning into a tourist attraction.

LikeTelevision

LikeTelevision is a site filled with downloads of old TV shows, movies, and even commercials. There are a few free samples here, but mostly you'll pay $5 per download, or you can join for $15 a month and get all you want. In the free section, check out the awesome Johnny Carson sampler, featuring Johnny as Ronald Reagan playing Family Feud against Queen Elizabeth.

Best of Craigslist

Check out the Best of Craigslist for long, long minutes of fun. Try seeking man named Sergio, Go away, evil leaf blower man, and To the MAN who DID his hoochie on my hood!! (safe for work [most offices]).

Feels like Tuesday

It's Wednesday, but it feels like Tuesday. Sometimes, a Thursday will feel like Friday. And often, Saturday feels like Sunday, then the subsequent Sunday feels like Saturday, which makes Monday an unwanted surprise. And, weirdly, whenever it feels like a day it's not, I mention that to Barbara, and she inevitably has the same wrong-day feeling.

Baseball movies and books

Baseball has inspired a huge number of movies and books, far more than any other American sport. Last month the "Giants Today" ad in the San Francisco Chronicle asked some Giants to name their favorite baseball movies. That inspired me to think about my favorites -- here are some of them:

Field of Dreams -- my all-time favorite. Part of the wonderful baseball fantasy genre. Usually gets me crying by the end. And the book, Shoeless Joe, is even better.

The Natural -- baseballs blowing up light fixtures and striking blows against evil.

The Bad News Bears -- Walter Matthau and a bunch of funny, hard-playing kids.

Rookie of the Year -- "Gardenhoser!"

Long Gone -- Teller (of Penn & Teller) acts -- and speaks!

Pride of the Yankees -- Lou Gehrig's triumph (he played in 2130 consecutive games) and tragedy.

The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings -- Richard Pryor, James Earl Jones, Billy Dee Williams, and more.

Here are some others mentioned by the Giants: Bull Durham, Major League, The Sandlot, Fear Strikes Out, The Rookie, Hardball, Eight Men Out, The Jackie Robinson Story, For Love of the Game.

And for some great baseball books, check out my Amazon list.

What are your favorites?

new U.S. nickels

The U.S. Mint has recently discovered what the Postal Service learned long ago: people like to collect new stuff. So it has started to mess around with the nickels. In 2004, they changed the "tails" side, but in 2005, it's a way-different new portrait of Jefferson on the obverse (that's "heads" for you non-numismatists).

See all the new nickels here.

DON'T STOP, STUPID!

If you're driving from Silicon Valley to central or southern California, you will likely go east on Highway 152 and negotiate the notorious DON'T STOP, STUPID! intersection. It works like this: somebody (let's call that person "over-courteous person zero") heading east on 152 feels compelled to stop for a left-turner who wants to get onto Highway 156 although there is no stop sign. So then, the next guy does the same, stopping for the next left-turning car. Pretty soon, there are hours/miles of cars backed up. And after griping and grumbling in the backup for an hour or more, many people get to the intersection and they stop too, figuring, what the hell, I'm going slow anyway, apparently contracting instant stupid amnesia about having spent the past hour-plus in stop-and-start traffic, or perhaps being unable to connect the two events in their impressive big brains.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!